We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
