I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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