I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
