Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
