I wanna bring you to show and tell
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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