I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
where am i from again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
