I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
