Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
