I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
