Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
