I wish I only lived at night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
