Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
