I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
