i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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