rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
