It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
