Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
