now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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