i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
