i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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