how can u be prego again
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
