addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
