I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize