tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
