If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
