wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
