Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
