Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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