those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
