**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize