btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
be right there i have to get my cape
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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