look no pants
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
