so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize