Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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