This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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