I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
