I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
there is glitter all over my balls
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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