It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You smell like stripper and shame
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
