I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
