I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
