It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
