Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
