My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
