when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
