I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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