Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
