one two three fourrrrnication!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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