I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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