you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
