I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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