I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
