Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am naked and annoyed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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