It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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