Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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