Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
