Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize