Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
