maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize