I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
