Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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